After a three week hypothyroid-induced hiatus (thanks Strop, as always, love your work), that took me in a low orbit, skimming the outer atmosphere of planet Comatose, the drugs are starting to kick in again and I’m mostly back on deck. Unfortunately all we have to celebrate our return is Simply Noodles, so this will probably be a short report. Mainly because I made the mistake of reading up on defamation laws, the basic logic of which, seems to be: our defamation laws are harsh so that your food reviews aren’t. Oh well. I’ve never thought of myself as a food reviewer anyway, more of an urban-safari-ist. So that will have to be my defence.
Simply Noodles. We saw it arrive, way back whenever that was, all modern, with shiny hard surfaces, promising, cheap, tasty Asian noodles served fast to the funky young pre-movie crowd. Sort of an Asian version of Italian Bowl, before that had even arrived. And for a while it lived up to the promise. Unfortunately, that changed. Simply Noodles is still there, though you have to wonder how as the crowds seem to have passed it by, and these days all the modern surfaces just highlight the lack of character. The night we went, there was one other customer who left soon after we arrived, a couple of takeaway customers, and some young women who came in soon after we did.
It’s a one-man operation, run by a guy who bears a striking resemblance to Roy Orbison, if Roy had been Chinese. Though I suspect Roy might have been a better cook. You order at the counter and that is where your food arrives. Roy helpfully shouts at you to let you know it’s time to come and collect it.
I decided on a Chicken Laksa and Strop chose Char Kway Teow which is offered as either curry flavour or soy. I’d like you to ponder that for a moment as we did. Curry flavour. Or soy flavour. We added a couple of beers to the order too. The way things were shaping up we were going to need them.
When the Char Kway Teow arrived, Strop muttered something about a “flavour bypass” before returning to the condiment counter for more soy and chilli. As for the Laksa, I may have had worse, but I can’t remember when. I couldn’t taste much coconut, or anything much else apart from a bit of chilli.
On the way out Strop didn’t give Asian Roy a smile or a thank you – I can’t remember her doing that before. She asked if I thought this was the worst place we had been to. It’s a good question.